Fruitful Ponderings

You must be freakin' kidding me!
Fresh squeezed orange juice too?
That fancy shit is just for people
Too lazy to chew!

An orange slice ground up in your mouth
It will expel some juice
The freshest juice you've ever had
Or are you too obtuse

To realize that you waste your time
With shopping and with stress
With buying things and feeling like
You need another dress.

That fancy shampoo that you buy
Cleans just like rest
Although you feel much freer,
Do realize you're oppressed

Your objects they do own you
Your couch controls your life
It defines your actions
And causes needless strife.

You buy that car because it's cool
You need those shoes because they're neat
But $90 bucks for footwear
Is crazy for your feet.

They teach us that we need these things
That stuff will make us happy
And then we are all mixed up
When rich life still feels crappy.

Gold will make you shiny
And make your fingers glisten
But it won't help you make real friends
Or make your children listen.

It's all a scam, a money-grab;
They trick you, can't you see?
They make you think you need these things,
But best in life is free.

Sunsets and sweet kisses,
Will seldom cost a cent,
And when you don't buy stupid shit
You'll have cash left for rent.

Society is deep in debt,
but that's just half the deal
We get lost with wanting
And soon forget what's real.

That t-shirt, it can't hug you
And furniture can't talk
Nice shrubbery won't be your friend
Alone through life you'll walk

Be real, make your own damn juice,
And keep things simple sweet,
Focus on the ones you love,
On people that you meet.

And Then He Started His Own Business and Made Big Bucks

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who went to Grad School then said "Fuck it!"

He quit all his classes,
And stepped on his glasses,

Now serves KFC from a bucket.

My $0.02 or They Call it Being "Well Off"

Ka-¢hing Ka-¢hing Ka-¢hing

Catching the disease

$pending $pending $pending

Until your house they seize


1 day you'll be happy

2 much you've had to lose

3 more breaths and you'll think

be-

4 you have to choose


between your life and living
between passion and a job
between a real or forced smile
between a tear or sob

living life is not free
but can you pay the cost?
is it worth the payment,
years of your life lost?

is there no other answer?
no way to simply be?
some way to "pay the piper"
and still escape the fee?

why can't we just be happy
living as we are?
resist the diamond bracelet
and brand-new sporty car

what world made "things" important
and made us care so much
about the things we purchase
objects we see and touch

intangible are love and lust
(i can't touch sympathy)
but surely it is possible
to feel philanthropy

i can hold opinions dear
and i can buy some time
some things are worth so very much
don't focus on the dime

don't care about the dollar
or yen or british pound
just let yourself get lost
and soon you'll find you're found

release yourself from rubies
divorce your diamonds too
there's definitely more to life
than buying old and new

don't focus on your income
and other revenue
the dollar signs are blinding
and soon your "things" own you

what is the price of happiness?
how much for just one smile?
will money get you closer?
or will it just beguile?

let go and give yourself a break
it's going to be ok
there's more to life than buying
and waiting for pay day

just breathe and try to realize
you have so many things
assess what is important
and give your dreams some wings

"Can I help you find anything, or are you just browsing?"

Maybe we can't figure out what to do with our lives because we already have everything. If you're reading this, it means you're literate and have access to the internet. I think it's safe to assume that you have many or all of life's "basic necessities". (Who coined that phrase anyways?)

We are so completely materialistic ("we" being the affluent western world and a few other select areas on the globe). Our daily lives revolve around what we're going to buy next. Do you go to work to pay for your house? Do you go to school to get a job so that one day you can pay for a house? Even if you own your house, you can buy stuff for it (decor/furnishings/etc.) Is it your kids you buy for? It would be awful if they missed out on growing up with the incessant need to want and "need".

Let me be clear: want ≠ need. What constitutes need? Do we need a house? (Could you live without one?) Do we need a car or shoes? There are people that do without. Do you need a bathroom when you "have" to "go"? (Technically, no.) Do we need 5-20 pairs of pants? Seriously. Things are getting out of hand. We've forgotten the difference between want and need and everything is getting confused and SOMEBODY out there is making a buck and that's good, because they have a house to pay for, you know. And that's going to make them "happy".

It gets worse.

We have commercialized emotion. We have commercialized LOVE. We have. In one breathe we declare love as "sacred" and in the next we configure ways to prove this with objects. The idea of "marriage" is lost somewhere in the shadow of "weddings", and this materialistic gesture is forever immortalized by (often) insanely expensive rings. With the rise of capitalism (or some form of it) came the institution of marking your love by precious metals and accompanying stones. We've heard the questions: "Well what what you DO if he proposed but you hated the ring???!" and despite insisting that we'd marry them anyways, a small voice inside of us confesses that we'd have to do something about that ring and get it changed or what have you.

Because it matters. (But why?)

You've probably also answered the question, "If your house was on fire and you could only save one thing, what would it be?" For some people, it's photos. For others, "valuable" items or sentimental objects. It varies, but there are things we hold near and dear and seek to keep forever. As though holding on to a picture frame would give us some sense of purpose, being, or happiness as we stare at the rubble that once functioned as shelter.

We are so completely attached to stuff. It's undeniable. I'm not exempt from this widespread disease. I save my money for things and spend my money on stuff and it makes me "happier". I work hard in school and "achieve" so that one day I can get a nice fancy job and make MORE money so that I can do things that make me "happy". I'm not trying to suggest that this is completely wrong, and that the direction my life is going in is downhill. I'm merely recognizing that I'm a part of the problem, and I'm not sure what the solution is.

Maybe only when we have nothing do we have a chance to figure out what we need. Maybe having so much, so little real need, has caused us to lose our way. What makes you happy? Is it your car? Your ipod? Your couch? I'm ignoring the fact that there are most likely living-breathing-organisms that are extremely important to you. I'm focusing on the fact that we think of STUFF/OBJECTS/THINGS as the gateway to happiness. I just need that dress. I just need the iphone4. And it'll make me happy, or at least happier.

This stuff breaks. It deteriorates. It gets lost. It burns in a metaphorical fire. And then what? What do we have then when everything that makes us "happy" goes up in smoke?

Is it the people around us? Moms, dads, girlfriends, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, neighbours, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, teachers, friends, mentors, librarians, mistresses, step-children, foster children, step-parents, foster parents, and the strangers we don't even know but do feel empathy for? Is this what truly matters? Is this what's left?

I would like to say yes. I would like to say that love is the thing. In fact, sometimes I even believe it. But we know too well that love can break. And love can break us. It can take us up to heights so high that when it drops us, smashing us into bits, we don't know how to put the pieces back together again, and suddenly that house you live in is also no longer a source of happiness.

This calls for clarification. The aforementioned love relies upon other people. It is inter-personal, and not fully within your control (as much as you may like it to be.) Perhaps it is other forms of love that cannot be taken from us (as long as we don't allow them to be silenced by our "needs").

Some sensations are not readily apparent to us. Have you ever "loved" air? Probably not (unless you're a yogi, in which case you probably understand why yoga has been practiced for thousands of years). But if it (air) were taken away, if you needed it (more than you needed that new toaster oven), I'm fairly certain you would love it were you able to obtain it again. Have you ever loved the colour of the sky, the fact that you could see, or the way you thought to look up at all? Have you given yourself that much credit? Have you thanked and loved yourself for ever facet of your being?

Children allegedly laugh 80 times more than adults. Children generally have no money, and until a certain age do not know the concept of "buying" or "owning". Most likely their young life is comprised of discovering and viewing the world with wonder and awe with a penchant for hilarity. Sure, kids "need" - they need food and cleanliness, social interaction and other healthy things. That, I don't think I could argue against. In fact, this is not a perfect example so much as it is a model for being.

Learn. Laugh. LIVE your life. Enjoy it. Don't wish it away. LOVE yourself, wholly and completely. Without make-up, without hesitation. There are few things that cannot be taken away from us, and if we establish some form of self-love and a wonder and appreciation for the world around us (whatever form it may take), perhaps then we may find happiness. Perhaps then we'll stop pursuing it with the rabid tenacity of a starving dog.


---------------------------------------------


Wow, but I digress.

If one achieves self-love & world-wonder, then what? What do you do with yourself if you are perfectly content with yourself and your life situation? I think part of the reason we create so many projects for ourselves (renovate the kitchen, lose 10 lbs, obtain a degree, etc.) is an effort to defeat the possibility of boredom. Maybe we create feelings of inadequacy in order to have something to "fix" and AHA! A project is born.

That is pathetic.

There should be only one answer: do what you are passionate about. If you love making music or solving math equations or talking to old people - DO THAT. Do what fills you with joy, intensity, or calm, or whatever you consider a manifestation of your passion. You can have more than one. You can change your mind. But do what stokes that fire within you, DO what contributes to your zest for life.

If you are creative and imaginative enough, you won't have to sacrifice your passion for some dull career you're not interested in but need to pay the bills. If you work at your passion and give 100% effort and think outside the box and do whatever it takes, you will find a way to make it happen. And if you've come to love yourself and be at peace with the workings of the world, your path will be that much easier.

What fills you with that fire? A difficult question, I am sure. What fills you with desire and longing that is not a tangible object? Think hard, think very very hard. And then find a way to make it happen. If the creativity switch in your brain has been switched to "off" for far too long, enlist the aid of others. Get them to help you come up with a solution, an opportunity, anything.

Maybe you want to be a mail man, a nurse, or a nuclear biologist. Maybe you don't want a "job" and you want to create and wander and profess - it doesn't matter - the point is that if you put 100% towards it (have you ever put 100% effort towards any goal?) the only possible outcome is success - it will be achievable (if you don't reach your goal, you haven't tried hard enough or exhausted all options). We are trained and we train ourselves to believe that there are certain things we can't achieve - but this is simply not true. You can achieve ANYTHING, but you have to want it badly enough and devise ways to get there.

And if you do what you're passionate about while accepting yourself and your decision to follow this path, you will be happy.

And that can't be taken away without your say-so.

_________________________________________________

Value vs. Worth vs. Cost

Shoving handfuls of paper bills into your pockets you yelled at me to hurry up. Scrambling in my room, picking things up and putting them down again drowning in indecision, unable to decide what I truly needed - I hated you for making me rush. Do I bring the stuffed elephant from my mother or the rugby trophy from 2003? Maybe just my toothbrush. It's hard to decide what's truly important when your life gets turned upside down.

You were a ball of fire, perspiring and running around destroying everything you touched in your hurry. Your speed made me want to stop, slow down, as though you were sucking your velocity out of me and thus rendering me absolutely completely stationary.

I didn't want to leave. I didn't care. But you dragged me out, despite my pleas and tears you dragged me as gently as you could (but forcefully) and took me into the beat-up van you bought from Mr. Thindley down the road. I sat in the passenger seat (you buckled me up) bawling into my hands as you got in front of the wheel and eased the ugly vehicle onto the road.

Three hours later I was silent. Not numb but buzzing and still. My mouth was dry and there was no point to words anyways. The mental inventory in my head (things I could've, should've, would've taken) was driving me absolutely crazy. Clutching the side of the car gave me the illusion that I was holding on to something, that I had kept something after all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I couldn't leave, you know I couldn't. You tried to make it work, to help us to a new life, but you were so blind - the money never mattered to me like it did to you. Going 150 down the highway I glanced at you briefly before swiftly unbuckling, wrenching the door open, and vaulting myself out of the van.

It's funny how often we lose sight of what's important.

A Christmas Rich with Love

All I want for Christmas is anything but you,
I don’t want your heart, although you say your love is true.

You left me like a broken toy and now you want me back;
If you want me for Christmas better look in Santa’s sack!

I’ll buy myself to happiness, it shouldn’t be too hard,
It’s easy with some help from your visa credit card.

Christmas is a time for love; this year I’m lovin’ me,
I’m finding out more ways than one that happiness ain’t free.

I bought a car in flashy red and sparkling diamonds too,
This year I’ll never have to spend “quality” time with you.

I bought some sterling picture frames, replace the ones I smashed,
And in my nooks and crannies Belgium chocolate I have stashed.

Those chocolates in a little box, they cost ten bucks a pound,
That little plastic happy-card’s the best thing I have found.

I bought a dress in dazzling black, a day trip to the spa,
This year instead of “Ho-ho-ho” I’ll utter “Ha, ha, ha!”

I’ll get you back for all you did, I’ll really make you pay,
Be payin’ for your big mistake until your dying day.

I got bath bombs and luscious treats like chocolate covered nuts,
If you come crawlin’ back to me I guess you’ve got some guts.

You broke my fragile loving heart, our small love boat – it sank.
But I just got you back for that – I broke your piggy bank.

A Prada purse and faux fur coat, those precious things for me,
I’m better off without you now, one day you’ll surely see.

You may think I’m selfish and my money-schemes unkind,
But buying stuff is healthy, it cures lovesickness you’ll find.

A wide-screen television set, so I can watch my soaps.
“I’ll never let you be with me!” *Ka-ching* I crush your hopes.

A sound system and new CD’s will make Christmas complete,
I’ll drown out your pathetic voice with every second beat.

Those sunglasses, they’re from Milan, they cost a pretty dime,
I’ve booked a cruise to Mexico, I’ll have a lovely time.

Santa probably thinks I’m bad, I’ll get a lump of coal,
But all the stuff I’ve bought myself will fill my heart’s deep hole.

I’ve bought a Starbucks franchise, it’s the biggest I have seen,
From now on I’ll be wide awake – via my caffeine.

“Money can’t buy happiness” was said by someone poor,
They never had nice furnishings or jewelry galore.

You think you’ve seen the last of me, wait ‘till you get the mail!
The bill should be monstrously big – the coffin’s final nail.

So keep in mind your back account next time you “Need a break”,
I’ll steal your cash and claim your pride, your dignity I’ll take!