Cup of Joe

They say that pot is a gate-way drug, but you never hear people warning about caffeine.

Suddenly you're alert and your head has never felt so alive before.

You can do it all. You can clean and think and dream and run and dance and do homework and take it all on you are super! You can do it all! It's amazing and magical and less than $2!

Until the crash, and you're falling... falling asleep. You feel so tired and you need it again. Give me the coffee, I'm jones-ing for it. I don't need it I just really really want it.

Uppers were the next logical step.

Coffee stains your teeth and really it's not as convenient as a few little pills. Let's start with adderall and pseduo-ephedrine. They're easily procured, not illegal, and really ease you into the flighty high that feels so. damn. good.

Everything is still moving very very quickly. It's great - you're getting so much done! And nothing seems crazy important like it used to. When it's time to sleep ('cause let's be realistic - you have to sleep eventually) all it takes is a few shots of vodka (it tastes so clean). Food is no longer necessary for energy.

Ecstasy is just another pill.

It's great when you have time for, well, everything! It feels really good when you have your pills, and that girl from that party shared her coke with you and that felt pretty fucking good too. It's not as easy to get as the pills, but it works twice as well.

Life starts moving really quickly, like when you're on the merry-go-round at a kid's playground and it's spinning really, really quickly and any second you're going to fall off but for now you're hanging on and it feels really, really good (even though you might get sick any second now).

You don't think about inconsequential things anymore. It doesn't matter. You used to care about what people thought or how you looked but now all that matters is that you're awake! And that you have a pocket full of pills. You could quit, but what's the point? You feel happy for once. Things feel good.

What does it matter that it's artificial? Everything is artificial these days.

(Including happiness).