A Christmas Rich with Love

All I want for Christmas is anything but you,
I don’t want your heart, although you say your love is true.

You left me like a broken toy and now you want me back;
If you want me for Christmas better look in Santa’s sack!

I’ll buy myself to happiness, it shouldn’t be too hard,
It’s easy with some help from your visa credit card.

Christmas is a time for love; this year I’m lovin’ me,
I’m finding out more ways than one that happiness ain’t free.

I bought a car in flashy red and sparkling diamonds too,
This year I’ll never have to spend “quality” time with you.

I bought some sterling picture frames, replace the ones I smashed,
And in my nooks and crannies Belgium chocolate I have stashed.

Those chocolates in a little box, they cost ten bucks a pound,
That little plastic happy-card’s the best thing I have found.

I bought a dress in dazzling black, a day trip to the spa,
This year instead of “Ho-ho-ho” I’ll utter “Ha, ha, ha!”

I’ll get you back for all you did, I’ll really make you pay,
Be payin’ for your big mistake until your dying day.

I got bath bombs and luscious treats like chocolate covered nuts,
If you come crawlin’ back to me I guess you’ve got some guts.

You broke my fragile loving heart, our small love boat – it sank.
But I just got you back for that – I broke your piggy bank.

A Prada purse and faux fur coat, those precious things for me,
I’m better off without you now, one day you’ll surely see.

You may think I’m selfish and my money-schemes unkind,
But buying stuff is healthy, it cures lovesickness you’ll find.

A wide-screen television set, so I can watch my soaps.
“I’ll never let you be with me!” *Ka-ching* I crush your hopes.

A sound system and new CD’s will make Christmas complete,
I’ll drown out your pathetic voice with every second beat.

Those sunglasses, they’re from Milan, they cost a pretty dime,
I’ve booked a cruise to Mexico, I’ll have a lovely time.

Santa probably thinks I’m bad, I’ll get a lump of coal,
But all the stuff I’ve bought myself will fill my heart’s deep hole.

I’ve bought a Starbucks franchise, it’s the biggest I have seen,
From now on I’ll be wide awake – via my caffeine.

“Money can’t buy happiness” was said by someone poor,
They never had nice furnishings or jewelry galore.

You think you’ve seen the last of me, wait ‘till you get the mail!
The bill should be monstrously big – the coffin’s final nail.

So keep in mind your back account next time you “Need a break”,
I’ll steal your cash and claim your pride, your dignity I’ll take!