Maybe we can't figure out what to do with our lives because we already have everything. If you're reading this, it means you're literate and have access to the internet. I think it's safe to assume that you have many or all of life's "basic necessities". (Who coined that phrase anyways?)
We are so completely materialistic ("we" being the affluent western world and a few other select areas on the globe). Our daily lives revolve around what we're going to buy next. Do you go to work to pay for your house? Do you go to school to get a job so that one day you can pay for a house? Even if you own your house, you can buy stuff for it (decor/furnishings/etc.) Is it your kids you buy for? It would be awful if they missed out on growing up with the incessant need to want and "need".
Let me be clear: want ≠ need. What constitutes need? Do we need a house? (Could you live without one?) Do we need a car or shoes? There are people that do without. Do you need a bathroom when you "have" to "go"? (Technically, no.) Do we need 5-20 pairs of pants? Seriously. Things are getting out of hand. We've forgotten the difference between want and need and everything is getting confused and SOMEBODY out there is making a buck and that's good, because they have a house to pay for, you know. And that's going to make them "happy".
It gets worse.
We have commercialized emotion. We have commercialized LOVE. We have. In one breathe we declare love as "sacred" and in the next we configure ways to prove this with objects. The idea of "marriage" is lost somewhere in the shadow of "weddings", and this materialistic gesture is forever immortalized by (often) insanely expensive rings. With the rise of capitalism (or some form of it) came the institution of marking your love by precious metals and accompanying stones. We've heard the questions: "Well what what you DO if he proposed but you hated the ring???!" and despite insisting that we'd marry them anyways, a small voice inside of us confesses that we'd have to do something about that ring and get it changed or what have you.
Because it matters. (But why?)
You've probably also answered the question, "If your house was on fire and you could only save one thing, what would it be?" For some people, it's photos. For others, "valuable" items or sentimental objects. It varies, but there are things we hold near and dear and seek to keep forever. As though holding on to a picture frame would give us some sense of purpose, being, or happiness as we stare at the rubble that once functioned as shelter.
We are so completely attached to stuff. It's undeniable. I'm not exempt from this widespread disease. I save my money for things and spend my money on stuff and it makes me "happier". I work hard in school and "achieve" so that one day I can get a nice fancy job and make MORE money so that I can do things that make me "happy". I'm not trying to suggest that this is completely wrong, and that the direction my life is going in is downhill. I'm merely recognizing that I'm a part of the problem, and I'm not sure what the solution is.
Maybe only when we have nothing do we have a chance to figure out what we need. Maybe having so much, so little real need, has caused us to lose our way. What makes you happy? Is it your car? Your ipod? Your couch? I'm ignoring the fact that there are most likely living-breathing-organisms that are extremely important to you. I'm focusing on the fact that we think of STUFF/OBJECTS/THINGS as the gateway to happiness. I just need that dress. I just need the iphone4. And it'll make me happy, or at least happier.
This stuff breaks. It deteriorates. It gets lost. It burns in a metaphorical fire. And then what? What do we have then when everything that makes us "happy" goes up in smoke?
Is it the people around us? Moms, dads, girlfriends, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, neighbours, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, teachers, friends, mentors, librarians, mistresses, step-children, foster children, step-parents, foster parents, and the strangers we don't even know but do feel empathy for? Is this what truly matters? Is this what's left?
I would like to say yes. I would like to say that love is the thing. In fact, sometimes I even believe it. But we know too well that love can break. And love can break us. It can take us up to heights so high that when it drops us, smashing us into bits, we don't know how to put the pieces back together again, and suddenly that house you live in is also no longer a source of happiness.
This calls for clarification. The aforementioned love relies upon other people. It is inter-personal, and not fully within your control (as much as you may like it to be.) Perhaps it is other forms of love that cannot be taken from us (as long as we don't allow them to be silenced by our "needs").
Some sensations are not readily apparent to us. Have you ever "loved" air? Probably not (unless you're a yogi, in which case you probably understand why yoga has been practiced for thousands of years). But if it (air) were taken away, if you needed it (more than you needed that new toaster oven), I'm fairly certain you would love it were you able to obtain it again. Have you ever loved the colour of the sky, the fact that you could see, or the way you thought to look up at all? Have you given yourself that much credit? Have you thanked and loved yourself for ever facet of your being?
Children allegedly laugh 80 times more than adults. Children generally have no money, and until a certain age do not know the concept of "buying" or "owning". Most likely their young life is comprised of discovering and viewing the world with wonder and awe with a penchant for hilarity. Sure, kids "need" - they need food and cleanliness, social interaction and other healthy things. That, I don't think I could argue against. In fact, this is not a perfect example so much as it is a model for being.
Learn. Laugh. LIVE your life. Enjoy it. Don't wish it away. LOVE yourself, wholly and completely. Without make-up, without hesitation. There are few things that cannot be taken away from us, and if we establish some form of self-love and a wonder and appreciation for the world around us (whatever form it may take), perhaps then we may find happiness. Perhaps then we'll stop pursuing it with the rabid tenacity of a starving dog.
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Wow, but I digress.
If one achieves self-love & world-wonder, then what? What do you do with yourself if you are perfectly content with yourself and your life situation? I think part of the reason we create so many projects for ourselves (renovate the kitchen, lose 10 lbs, obtain a degree, etc.) is an effort to defeat the possibility of boredom. Maybe we create feelings of inadequacy in order to have something to "fix" and AHA! A project is born.
That is pathetic.
There should be only one answer: do what you are passionate about. If you love making music or solving math equations or talking to old people - DO THAT. Do what fills you with joy, intensity, or calm, or whatever you consider a manifestation of your passion. You can have more than one. You can change your mind. But do what stokes that fire within you, DO what contributes to your zest for life.
If you are creative and imaginative enough, you won't have to sacrifice your passion for some dull career you're not interested in but need to pay the bills. If you work at your passion and give 100% effort and think outside the box and do whatever it takes, you will find a way to make it happen. And if you've come to love yourself and be at peace with the workings of the world, your path will be that much easier.
What fills you with that fire? A difficult question, I am sure. What fills you with desire and longing that is not a tangible object? Think hard, think very very hard. And then find a way to make it happen. If the creativity switch in your brain has been switched to "off" for far too long, enlist the aid of others. Get them to help you come up with a solution, an opportunity, anything.
Maybe you want to be a mail man, a nurse, or a nuclear biologist. Maybe you don't want a "job" and you want to create and wander and profess - it doesn't matter - the point is that if you put 100% towards it (have you ever put 100% effort towards any goal?) the only possible outcome is success - it will be achievable (if you don't reach your goal, you haven't tried hard enough or exhausted all options). We are trained and we train ourselves to believe that there are certain things we can't achieve - but this is simply not true. You can achieve ANYTHING, but you have to want it badly enough and devise ways to get there.
And if you do what you're passionate about while accepting yourself and your decision to follow this path, you will be happy.
And that can't be taken away without your say-so.
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Easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteToo true.
ReplyDelete